If you’ve been having depressive symptoms for the past five months, you are not alone. If you’ve been afraid to be vulnerable and talk to anyone about it, you are not alone. If you are hard on yourself about not reaching out when you know you should have, you are not alone. If you have shame regarding any of the above, I’m completely in it with ya, babe. You are never alone.
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Oof. All the real human feelings recently and over the past months that I have been incapable of articulating. Am I sad because of Ben? Because of stressing about the future? Family well being? Depression? WTF am I feeling this shitty for this long for?
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This year has been a rough one for me. This is honestly been why my online presence has been quiet. I’ve felt aimless and not inspired or inspiring. I always preach about the importance of mental health and sharing feelings. I have a bad habit of sharing only when I have my shit at least kind of figured out. Those of us who preach things need to hear them the most. We speak from experience.
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Photo Credit: Photographer

I’m sharing to help you, and me, feel less alone. We are imperfect. We don’t always do the things we should be doing. We don’t see how effing perfect and lovable we are, flaws and all. Shame keeps us quiet and makes us feel alone. We resist talking about our feelings when we are the most fragile, sad, and down. But we all feel that way sometimes.
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After many counseling sessions, cry sessions, numbing days and texts from my mother asking how I am, I finally was pushed to share. I told a few people I trust and love how I’ve been feeling, even though it was fumbly and I wasn’t even sure what the f I was feeling. And still, with each difficult conversation, I felt weight lift from my body. I was reassured that people do care, that my problems are not a burden, and that I am not alone.
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I will show up, be vulnerable and share how feel, even if I don’t have it figured out. If you’ve been feeling any type of way, tell someone you trust. Pick up the phone or better yet, meet them face to face and ask them to listen. Just start talking about how you’re feeling right now, and work backwards. You are worth it.
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Xoxo,
C